It’s been about three weeks since I’ve reviewed a movie here, which seems like an awfully long time for this blog. But that’s what happens when you go on vacation for a week and then come back in the midst of the Labor Day dead period, when we get not-screened-for-critics junk like Babylon AD,College and today’s Bangkok Dangerous.
That doesn’t mean I haven’t been going to the movies, however. More importantly, it doesn’t mean I haven’t seen a few good ones. Here are some quick-ish takes on what I’ve watched lately.
The House Bunny
I wish I liked this movie as much as I liked its cast. Some very talented actresses do some very good work in this Legally Blonde by way of Revenge of the Nerds comedy. Anna Faris, who up to now has been an undervalued talent, deserves all the praise she’s been getting for her delectably daffy performance as a Playboy bunny who tries her hand at being a sorority mother of a house full of misfits.
Also delightful are Emma Stone (Superbad) as the head female geek and Kat Dennings as the uber feminist. It’s a little hard to buy American Idol runner-up Katharine McPhee as an outcast, but she has a lot of fun with what little she’s given to do.
Frustratingly, the screenplay keeps undermining the film. Case in point: the girls are asked to sing karaoke. Good showcase for McPhee, right? Well, it would have been had the movie not ruined the scene with crude humor that sounds like it was written by a first-grader. This being a production by Happy Madison, Adam Sandler’s company, I guess they had to obey the edict “Thou shalt have stupid bathroom humor.”
I still laughed at House Bunny because of the actors - even while I wished they were in a movie that really deserved them.
GRADE: B-
Man on Wire and Vicky Cristina Barcelona after the jump.
Earlier this week I went inside the Dayton Mall for the first time in a long time, and man, I hardly recognized the place. Even the old Spencer Gifts was gone. Now what are people going to do to play with stupid electronic junk?
Oh that’s right - they carry stupid electronic junk around with them now.
But I digress. What always makes me swallow hardest when I pass by the mall is remembering that the huge old Dayton Mall 1 Cinema, with its huge screen, is long gone. And that brought to mind a number of things I miss about moviegoing when I was a kid. Such as:
BIG screens: Sure, there are large screens at the megaplexes now, but rarely do you see the curved 50-foot monsters that the Dayton Mall had, and that Page Manor cinema had.
BIG auditoriums: This one kind of went out with the BIG screens. Even in a good-sized megaplex auditorium, you get maybe about 500 people in a packed showing. I miss hering 1,000 or so people roaring at the swordsman getting shot at Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Quiet audiences: Seems to me audiences were better behaved in days gone by partly because they appreciated that going to the theater was a special experience, because the movie wasn’t going to be available at home in 4 months.
Movie posters that say “Now in its 53rd smash week!”: What’s the last movie that could boast that? E.T.? Return of the Jedi, maybe?
Seeing Disney animated classics in theaters.
And along those lines, this isn’t something I miss, so much as I missed out on: Cartoons before movies. If only they showed up at more than animated features.
And finally …
No ads before the feature presentation: Do I really need to say more?
Bill Melendez, who died Tuesday, was more known for his TV work than his work that appeared in movie theaters, but what TV work it was: He was the director behind some 40 years of Peanuts TV specials and the “voice” of Snoopy. As a longstanding Peanuts fan who watched the shows religiously for years, I had to pay tribute.
Melendez’s animation was simple, and one could even justifiably call it a little crude, especially in the early years, but that simplicity meshed very well with the directness of Charles Schulz’s writing - and it had a charm of its own. How can one look at this and not smile?
It’s not this news and of itself that upsets me. Yeah, the idea of a modern Tarzan film smacks of a studio suit somewhere saying “We have no new ideas. What franchise haven’t we raided in awhile? Ah ha! Tarzan!” Still, I think given the right director and cast, a new Tarzan movie could be fun.
We don’t know who will star as Tarzan yet, but we do know who’s in line to direct: Stephen Sommers.
Ooooohhhhhh …
… crud.
Sommers is one of my least favorite big blockbuster button pushers. No soul. I did like his 1998 Mummy movie, which was dumb fun, but The Mummy Returns was a textbook example of everything that’s wrong with Hollywood event movies: all noise, no inspiration.
Then he made Van Helsing, which made Mummy Returns look like Gunga Din. That vampire flick was everything that’s wrong with Hollywood event movies, multiplied by 100. Since I can usually find it for less than $10 unopened at video stores, I think most people would agree with me on that one.
Variety makes note of the fact that Guillermo del Toro had been attached to direct the new movie. I understand he’s off Hobbit-ting now, but darn - I would have much rather seen his take.
(Side note: I was disappointed to see that in its rundown of prior Tarzans, Variety completely overlooked the 1999 Disney version, the last great 2D Disney animated film. Oops.)
So I guess the question now is, will this movie be better or worse than Tarzan and the Lost City, starring Casper Van Dien? Place your bets now, folks!
My colleague Laura Dempsey has already written a nice piece on the Celebrity Worship blog about the passing of Don LaFontaine, the man whose deep, sonorous timbres graced many a movie trailer over the years, but I had to add my 2 cents.
LaFontaine had been voicing movie trailers for as long as I can remember. I felt like he would be around forever. It makes me sad to think we’ll never hear him heralding a new movie ever again.
Besides his remarkable voice, one of LaFontaine’s greatest gifts was his ability to laugh at himself. One of his best moments was in the YouTube favorite “FIve Men in a Limo,” in which he appeared with other voice over artists, including Mark Elliott, whose vocals have announced the arrival of Disney animated films for decades.
Note to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences: LaFontaine may not have made many movies in and of themselves, but he deserves a spot in your In Memoriam Reel next year - WITH his voice.
Now that the summer movie season has ended, I thought it would be fun to flip the coin and look at beginnings - great movie beginnings.
I’ve seen a number of other movie sites list the great movie endings, and that’s easy enough to do, but I haven’t seen a list of great movie beginnings nearly as often. We had two standouts this summer: WALL-E and The Dark Knight.
Pixar is particularly good at knocking the viewer off-balance with the openings of its movies, from the first scene of Monsters, Inc. to the “Is Buzz Lightyear really dead?” moment in Toy Story 2. As for WALL-E, I certainly didn’t expect a sci-fi story to open with Michael Crawford singing “Out there, there’s a world outside of Yonkers,” from Hello Dolly’s “Put on Your Sunday Clothes.”
Then, the opening bank heist scene of The Dark Knight was so effective, it was used as the IMAX trailer for the movie in its entirety, even though Batman is never even mentioned in it.
Here are some of my favorite movie openings. This isn’t meant to be a comprehensive list, but just a few off the top of my head to get you thinking.
Beauty and the Beast: The opening of the best film of the Disney renaissance put a neat spin on it’s “Once Upon a Time” openings, with its beautifully rendered stained glass drawings that set up the story. It made the movie feel new and classical all at once.
The Godfather: A voice breaks through the total darkness of the screen: “I believe in America.” There’s irony for you.
Goodfellas: “As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster.” Cue Tony Bennett.
Rear Window: It’s actually something of a quiet opening, but it’s one of Hitchcock’s best examples of pure cinema, relying only on the camera. By the time the first scene fades out, we know that it’s a hot day, we know the layout of the neighborhood, we find out what Jimmy Stewart does for a living, we see that he’s been in an accident, and we even know how he had his accident - all without a single word being said.
Touch of Evil: Opening shot. ‘Nuff said.
So what, in your opinion are the great movie openings? Mind you, I’m not talking about the title sequences over the opening credits that usually aren’t filmed by the director, but the actual openings that make you think “I’m in for a ride here.”
It may be a holiday weekend, but other than the reportedly excellent Man on Wire opening at Neon, the theatrical slate is … unremarkable, to put it charitably. It includes a Babylon AD, a movie that has been trashed by its own director; College, which probably is only funny if you’re on a beer binge; and a “comedy” that I don’t want to draw ANY attention to. To be fair, Hamlet 2 and Traitor have attracted decent if not spectacular reviews.
With such an unimpressive roster, for the weekend I’ll take one look back at summer and offer my own brand of movie awards.
Iron Man: The Worst Performance in a Good Movie goes to Jeff Bridges, a great actor who isn’t very good at playing villains.
Made of Honor : The THIS had to be Sydney Pollack’s Final Screen Appearance? Award
Speed Racer: The Way to Swallow Dark Knight Profits award. Warner Bros. released both films. Speed Racer bombed; The Dark Knight … didn’t.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: Flawed but not Nearly as Bad as Some People Said You Were.
Sex and the City: Movie Most In Need of a Nip and Tuck.
Kung Fu Panda: The New Vocabulary award with the word “Skidoosh.”
The Incredible Hulk: The Dubious Evaluation award for calling it a success when it made barely more money than the 2003 film.
The Love Guru: The How to Make People Wonder If You Were Ever Funny award, presented to Mike Meyers.
Soccer: Kings vs. Loveland
Your Kings Island photos
2008 Great Miami River Days
What do you think?
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